oureverydayuse

Monday, November 06, 2006

"The Things They Carried"






The Things They Carried
First Lieutenant Jimmy Cross carried letters from a girl named Martha, a junior at Mount Sebastian College in New Jersey. They were not love letters, but Lieutenant Cross was hoping, so he kept them folded in plastic at the bottom of his rucksack. In the late afternoon, after a day's march, he would dig his foxhole, wash his hands under a canteen, unwrap the letters, hold them with the tips of his fingers, and spend the last hour of fight pretending. He would imagine romantic camping trips into the White Mountains in New Hampshire. He would sometimes taste the envelope flaps, knowing her tongue had been there. More than anything, he wanted Martha to love him as he loved her, but the letters were mostly chatty, elusive on the matter of love. She was a virgin, he was almost sure. She was an English major at Mount Sebastian, and she wrote beautifully about her professors and roommates and midterm exams, about her respect for Chaucer and her great affection for Virginia Woolf. She often quoted lines .of poetry; she never mentioned the war, except to say, Jimmy, take care of yourself. The letters weighed ten ounces. They were signed "Love, Martha," but Lieutenant Cross understood that Love was only a way of signing and did not mean what he sometimes pretended it meant. At dusk, he would carefully return the letters to his rucksack. Slowly, a bit distracted, he would get up and move among his men, checking the perimeter, then at full dark he would return to his hole and watch the night and wonder if Martha was a virgin.
The things they carried were largely determined by necessity. Among the necessities or near-necessities were P-38 can openers, pocket knives, heat tabs, wrist watches, dog tags, mosquito repellent, chewing gum, candy, cigarettes, salt tablets, packets of Kool-Aid, lighters, matches, sewing kits, Military payment Certificates, C rations, and two or three canteens of water. Together, these items weighed between fifteen and twenty pounds, depending upon a man's habits or rate of metabolism. Henry Dobbins, who was a big man, carried extra rations; he was especially fond of canned peaches in heavy syrup over pound cake. Dave Jensen, who practiced field hygiene, carried a toothbrush, dental floss, and several hotel-size bars of soap he'd stolen on R&R in Sydney, Australia. Ted Lavender, who was scared, carried tranquilizers until he was shot in the head outside the village of Than Khe in mid-April. By necessity, and because it was SOP, they all carried steel helmets that weighed five pounds including the liner aid camouflage cover. They carried the standard fatigue jackets and trousers. Very few carried underwear. On their feet they carried jungle boots-2.1 pounds - and Dave Jensen carried three pairs of socks and a can of Dr. Scholl's foot powder as a precaution against trench foot. Until he was shot, Ted Lavender carried six or seven ounces of premium dope, which for him was 2 necessity. Mitchell Sanders, the RT0, carried condoms. Norman Bowker carried a diary. Rat Kiley carried comic books. Kiowa, a devout Baptist, Carried an illustrated New Testament that had been presented to him by his father, who taught Sunday school in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. As a hedge against bad times, however, Kiowa also carried his grandmother's distrust of the white man, his grandfather's old hunting hatchet. Necessity dictated. Because the land was mined and booby-trapped, it was SOP for each man to carry a steel-centered, nylon-covered flak jacket, which weighed 6.7 pounds, but which on hot days seemed much heavier. Because you could die so quickly, each man carried at least one large compress bandage, usually in the helmet band for easy access. Because the nights were cold, and because the monsoons were wet, each carried a green plastic poncho that could be used as a raincoat or groundsheet or makeshift tent. With its quilted liner, the poncho weighed almost two pounds, but it was worth every ounce. In April, for instance, when Ted Lavender was shot, they used his poncho to wrap him up, then to carry him across the paddy, then to lift him into the chopper that took him away.
They were called legs or grunts.
To carry something was to "hump" it, as when Lieutenant Jimmy Cross humped his love for Martha up the hills and through the swamps. In its intransitive form, "to hump," meant "to walk," or "to march," but it implied burdens far beyond the intransitive.
Almost everyone humped photographs. In his wallet, Lieutenant Cross carried two photographs of Martha. The first was a Kodachrome snapshot signed "Love," though he knew better. She stood against a brick wall. Her eyes were gray and neutral, her lips slightly open as she stared straight-on at the camera. At night, sometimes, Lieutenant Cross wondered who had taken the picture, because he knew she had boyfriends, because he loved her so much, and because he could see the shadow of the picture taker spreading out against the brick wall. The second photograph had been clipped from the 1968 Mount Sebastian yearbook. It was an action shot-women's volleyball-and Martha was bent horizontal to the floor, reaching, the palms of her hands in sharp focus, the tongue taut, the expression frank and competitive. There was no visible sweat. She wore white gym shorts. Her legs, he thought, were almost certainly the legs of a virgin, dry and without hair, the left knee cocked and carrying her entire weight, which was just over one hundred pounds. Lieutenant Cross remembered touching that left knee. A dark theater, he remembered, and the movie was Bonnie and Clyde, and Martha wore a tweed skirt, and during the final scene, when he touched her knee, she turned and looked at him in a sad, sober way that made him pull his hand back, but he would always remember the feel of the tweed skirt and the knee beneath it and the sound of the gunfire that killed Bonnie and Clyde, how embarrassing it was, how slow and oppressive. He remembered kissing her goodnight at the dorm door. Right then, he thought, he should've done something brave. He should've carried her up the stairs to her room and tied her to the bed and touched that left knee all night long. He should've risked it. Whenever he looked at the photographs, he thought of new things he should've done.

What they carried was partly a function of rank, partly of field specialty.
As a first lieutenant and platoon leader, Jimmy Cross carried a compass, maps, code books, binoculars, and a .45-caliber pistol that weighed 2.9 pounds fully loaded. He carried a strobe fight and the responsibility for the lives of his men.
As an RTO, Mitchell Sanders carried the PRC-25 radio, a killer, twenty-six pounds with its battery.
As a medic, Rat Kiley carried a canvas satchel filled with morphine and plasma and malaria tablets and surgical tape and comic books and all the things a medic must carry, including M&M's for especially bad wounds, for a total weight of nearly twenty pounds.
As a big man, therefore a machine gunner, Henry Dobbins carried the M-60, which weighed twenty-three pounds unloaded, but which was almost always loaded. In addition, Dobbins carried between ten and fifteen pounds of ammunition draped in belts across his chest and shoulders.
As PFCs or Spec 4s, most of them were common grunts and carried the standard M-16 gas-operated assault rifle. The weapon weighed 75 pounds unloaded, 8.2 pounds with its full twenty-round magazine. Depending on numerous factors, such as topography and psychology, the riflemen carried anywhere from twelve to twenty magazines, usually in cloth bandoliers, adding on another 8.4 pounds at minimum, fourteen pounds at maximum. When it was available, they also carried M-16 maintenance gear - rods and steel brushes and swabs and tubes of LSA oil - all of which weighed about 2 pound. Among the grunts, some carried the M-79 grenade launcher, 5.9 pounds unloaded, a reasonably fight weapon except for the ammunition, which was heavy. A single round weighed ten ounces. The typical load was twenty-five rounds. But Ted Lavender, who was scared, carried thirty-four rounds when he was shot and killed outside Than Khe, and he went down under an exceptional burden, more than twenty pounds of ammunition, plus the flak jacket and helmet and rations and water and toilet paper and tranquilizers and all the rest, plus the unweighed fear. He was dead weight. There was no twitching or flopping. Kiowa, who saw it happen, said it was like watching a rock fall, or a big sandbag or something -just boom, then down - not like the movies where the dead guy rolls around and does fancy spins and goes ass over teakettle -not like that, Kiowa said, the poor bastard just flat-fuck fell. Boom. Down. Nothing else. It was a bright morning in mid-April. Lieutenant Cross felt the pain. He blamed himself. They stripped off Lavender's canteens and ammo, all the heavy things, and Rat Kiley said the obvious, the guy's dead, and Mitchell Sanders used his radio to report one U.S. KIA and to request a chopper. Then they wrapped Lavender in his poncho. They carried him out to a dry paddy, established security, and sat smoking the dead man's dope until the chopper came. Lieutenant Cross kept to himself. He pictured Martha's smooth young face, thinking he loved her more than anything, more than his men, and now Ted Lavender was dead because he loved her so much and could not stop thinking about her. When the dust-off arrived, they carried Lavender aboard. Afterward they burned Than Khe. They marched until dusk, then dug their holes, and that night Kiowa kept explaining how you had to be them how fast it was, how the poor guy just dropped like so much concrete, Boom-down, he said. Like cement.

In addition to the three standard weapons-the M-60, M-16, and M-79-they carried whatever presented itself, or whatever seemed appropriate as a means of killing or staying alive. They carried catch-as-catch can. At various times, in various situations, they carried M-14's and CAR-15's and Swedish K's and grease guns and captured AK-47s and ChiCom's and RPG's and Simonov carbines and black-market Uzi's and .38-caliber Smith & Wesson handguns and 66 mm LAW's and shotguns and silencers and blackjacks and bayonets and C-4 plastic explosives. Lee Strunk carried a slingshot; a weapon of last resort, he called it. Mitchell Sanders carried brass knuckles. Kiowa carried his grandfather's feathered hatchet. Every third or fourth man carried a Claymore antipersonnel mine-3.5 pounds with its firing device. They all carried fragmentation grenades-fourteen ounces each. They all carried at least one M-18 colored smoke grenade- twenty-four ounces. Some carried CS or tear-gas grenades. Sonic carried white-phosphorus grenades. They carried all they could bear, and then some, including a silent awe for the terrible power of the things they carried.

In the first week of April, before Lavender died, Lieutenant Jimmy Cross received a good-luck charm from Martha. It was a simple pebble. An ounce at most. Smooth to the touch, it was a milky-white color with flecks of orange and violet, oval-shaped, like a miniature egg. In the accompanying letter, Martha wrote that she had found the pebble on the Jersey shoreline, precisely where the land touched water at high tide, where things came together but also separated. It was this separate-but-together quality, she wrote, that had inspired her to pick up the pebble and to carry it in her breast pocket for several days, where it seemed weightless, and then to send it through the mail, by air, as a token of her truest feelings for him. Lieutenant Cross found this romantic. But he wondered what 'her truest feelings were, exactly, and what she meant by separate-but-together. He wondered how the tides and waves had come into play on that afternoon along the Jersey shoreline when Martha saw the pebble and, bent down to rescue it from geology. He imagined bare feet. Martha was a poet, with the poet's sensibilities, and her feet would be brown and bare the toenails unpainted, the eyes chilly and somber like the ocean in March, and though it was painful, he wondered who had been with her that afternoon. He imagined a pair of shadows moving along the strip of sand where things came together but also separated. It was phantom jealousy, he knew, but he couldn't help himself. He loved her so much. On the march, through the hot days of early April, he carried the pebble in his mouth, turning it with his tongue, tasting sea salts and moisture. His mind wandered. He had difficulty keeping his attention on the war. On occasion he would yell at his men to spread out the column, to keep their eyes open, but then he would slip away into daydreams, just pretending, walking barefoot along the Jersey shore, with Martha, carrying nothing. He would feel himself rising. Sun and waves and gentle winds, all love and lightness.

What they carried varied by mission.
When a mission took them to the mountains, they carried mosquito netting, machetes, canvas tarps, and extra bugjuice.
If a mission seemed especially hazardous, or if it involved a place they knew to be bad, they carried everything they could. In certain heavily mined AO's, where the land was dense with Toe Poppers and Bouncing Betties, they took turns humping a twenty-eight-pound mine detector. With its headphones and big sensing plate, the equipment was a stress on the lower back and shoulders, awkward to handle, often useless because of the shrapnel in the earth, but they carried it anyway, partly for safety, partly for the illusion of safety.
On ambush, or other night missions, they carried peculiar little odds and ends. Kiowa always took along his New Testament and a pair of moccasins for silence. Dave Jensen carried night-sight vitamins high in carotene. Lee Strunk carried his slingshot; ammo, he claimed, would never be a problem. Rat Kiley carried brandy and M&M's. Until he was shot, Ted Lavender carried the starlight scope, which weighed 63 pounds with its aluminum carrying case. Henry Dobbins carried his girlfriend's panty hose wrapped around his neck as a comforter. They all carried ghosts. When dark came, they would move out single file across the meadows and paddies to their ambush coordinates, where they would quietly set up the Claymores and lie down and spend the night waiting.
Other missions were more complicated and required special equipment. In mid-April, it was their mission to search out and destroy the elaborate tunnel complexes in the Than Khe area south of Chu Lai. To blow the tunnels, they carried one-pound blocks of pentrite high explosives; four blocks to a man, sixty-eight pounds in all. They carried wiring, detonators, and battery-powered clackers. Dave Jensen carried earplugs. Most often, before blowing the tunnels, they were ordered by higher command to search them, which was considered bad news, but by and large they just shrugged and carried out orders. Because he was a big man, Henry Dobbins was excused from tunnel duty. The others would draw numbers. Before Lavender died there were seventeen men in the platoon, and whoever drew the number seventeen would strip off his gear and crawl in headfirst with a flashlight and Lieutenant Cross's .45-caliber pistol. The rest of them would fan out as security. They would sit down or kneel, not facing the hole, listening to the ground beneath them, imagining cobwebs and ghosts, whatever was down there-the tunnel walls squeezing in-how the flashlight seemed impossibly heavy in the hand and how it was tunnel vision in the very strictest sense, compression in all ways, even time, and how you had to wiggle in-ass and elbows-a swallowed-up feeling-and how you found yourself worrying about odd things-will your flashlight go dead? Do rats carry rabies? If you screamed, how far would the sound carry? Would your buddies hear it? Would they have the courage to drag you out? In some respects, though not many, the waiting was worse than the tunnel itself. Imagination was a killer.
On April 16, when Lee Strunk drew the number seventeen, he laughed and muttered something and went down quickly. The morning was hot and very still. Not good, Kiowa said. He looked at the tunnel opening, then out across a dry paddy toward the village of Than Khe. Nothing moved. No clouds or birds or people. As they waited, the men smoked and drank Kool-Aid, not talking much, feeling sympathy for Lee Strunk but also feeling the luck of the draw, You win some, you lose some, said Mitchell Sanders, and sometimes you settle for a rain check. It was a tired line and no one laughed.
Henry Dobbins ate a tropical chocolate bar. Ted Lavender popped a tranquilizer and went off to pee. After five minutes, Lieutenant Jimmy Cross moved to the tunnel, leaned down, and examined the darkness. Trouble, he thought-a cave-in maybe. And then suddenly, without willing it, lie was thinking about Martha. The stresses and fractures, the quick collapse, the two of them buried alive under all that weight. Dense, crushing love. Kneeling, watching the hole, he tried to concentrate on Lee Strunk and the war, all the dangers, but his love was too much for him, he felt paralyzed, he wanted to sleep inside her lungs and breathe- her blood and be smothered. He wanted her to be a virgin and not a virgin, all at once. He wanted to know her. Intimate secrets-why poetry? Why so sad? Why that grayness in her eyes? Why so alone? Not lonely, just alone -riding her bike across campus or sitting off by herself in the cafeteria. Even dancing, she danced alone - and it was the aloneness that filled him with love. He remembered telling her that one evening. How she nodded and looked away. And how, later, when he kissed her. She received the kiss without returning it, her eyes wide open, not afraid, not a virgin's eyes, just flat and uninvolved.
Lieutenant Cross gazed at the tunnel. But he was not there. He was buried with Martha under the white sand at the Jersey shore. They were pressed together, and the pebble in his mouth was her tongue. He was smiling. Vaguely, he was aware of how quiet the day was; the sullen paddies, yet he could not bring himself to worry about matters of security. He was beyond that. He was just a kid at war, in love. He was twenty two years old. He couldn't help it.
A few moments later Lee Strunk crawled out of the tunnel. He came up grinning, filthy but alive. Lieutenant Cross nodded and closed his eyes while the others clapped Strunk on the back and made jokes about rising from the dead.
Worms, Rat Kiley said. Right out of the grave. Fuckin' zombie.
The men laughed. They all felt great relief.
Spook City, said Mitchell Sanders.
Lee Strunk made a funny ghost sound, a kind of moaning, yet very happy, and fight then, when Strunk made that high happy moaning sound, when he went Ahhooooo, right then Ted Lavender was shot in the head on his way back from peeing. He lay with his mouth open. The teeth were broken. There was a swollen black bruise under his left eye. The cheekbone was gone. Oh shit, Rat Kiley said, the guy's dead. The guy's dead, he kept saying, which seemed profound -the guy's dead. I mean really.

The things they carried were determined to some extent by superstition. Lieutenant Cross carried his good-luck pebble. Dave Jensen carried a rabbit's foot. Norman Bowker, other-wise a very gentle person, carried a thumb that had been presented to him as a gift by Mitchell Sanders. The thumb was dark brown, rubbery to the touch, and weighed four ounces at most. It had been cut from a VC corpse, a boy of fifteen or sixteen. They'd found him at the bottom of an irrigation ditch, badly burned, flies in his mouth and eyes. The boy wore black shorts and sandals. At the time of his death he had been carrying a pouch of rice, a rifle, and three magazines of ammunition.
You want my opinion, Mitchell Sanders said, there's a definite moral here.
He put his hand oil the dead boy's wrist. He was quiet for a time, as if counting a pulse, then he patted the stomach, almost affectionately, and used Kiowa's hunting hatchet to remove the thumb.
Henry Dobbins asked what the moral was.
Moral?
You know- Moral.
Sanders wrapped the thumb in toilet paper and handed it across to Norman Bowker. There was no blood. Smiling, he kicked the boy's head, watched the files scatter, and said, It's like with that old TV show - Paladin. Have gun, will travel.
Henry Dobbins thought about it.
Yeah, well, he finally said. I don't see no moral.
There it is, man.
Fuck off.

They carried USO stationery and pencils and pens. They carried Sterno, safety pins, trip flares, signal flares, spools of wire, razor blades, chewing tobacco, liberated joss sticks and statuettes of the sniffing Buddha, candles, grease pencils, The Stars and Stripes, fingernail clippers, Psy Ops leaflets, bush hats, bolos, and much more. Twice a week, when the resupply choppers came in, they carried hot chow in green Mermite cans and large canvas bags filled with iced beer and soda pop. They carried plastic water containers, each with a two gallon capacity. Mitchell Sanders carried a set of starched tiger fatigues for special occasions. Henry Dobbins carried Black Flag insecticide. Dave Jensen carried empty sandbags that could be filled at night for added protection. Lee Strunk carried tanning lotion. Some things they carried in common. Taking turns, they carried the big PRC-77 scrambler radio, which weighed thirty pounds with its battery. They shared the weight of memory. They took up what others could no longer bear, Often, they carried each other, the wounded or weak. They carried infections. They carried chess sets, basketballs, Vietnamese English dictionaries, insignia of rank, Bronze Stars and Purple Hearts, plastic cards imprinted with the Code of Conduct. They carried diseases, among them malaria and dysentery. They carried lice and ringworm and leeches and paddy algae and various rots and molds. They carried the land itself. Vietnam, the place, the sod -a powdery orange-red dust that covered their boots and fatigues and faces. They carried the sky. The whole atmosphere, they carried it, the humidity, the monsoons, the stink of fungus and decay, all of it, they carried gravity. They moved like mules. By daylight they took sniper fire, at night they were mortared, but it was not battle, it was just the endless march, village to village, without purpose, nothing won or lost. They marched for the sake of the march. They plodded along slowly, dumbly, leaning forward against the heat, unthinking, all blood and bone, simple grunts, soldiering with their legs, toiling up the hills and down into the paddies and across the rivers and up again and down, just humping, one step and then the next and then another, but no volition, no will, because it was automatic, it was anatomy, and the war was entirely a matter of posture and carriage, the hump was everything, a kind of inertia, a kind of emptiness, a dullness of desire and intellect and conscience and hope and human sensibility. Their principles were in their feet. Their calculations were biological. They had no sense of strategy or mission. They searched the villages without knowing what to look for, nor caring, kicking over jars of rice, frisking children and old men, blowing tunnels, sometimes setting fires and sometimes not, then forming up and moving on to the next village, then other villages, where it would always be the same. They carried their own lives. The pressures were enormous. In the heat of early afternoon, they would remove their helmets and flak jackets, walking bare, which was dangerous but which helped ease the strain. They would often discard things along the route of march. Purely for comfort, they would throw away rations, blow their Claymores and grenades, no matter, because by nightfall the resupply choppers would arrive with more of the same, then a day or two later still more, fresh watermelons and crates of ammunition and sunglasses and woolen sweaters-the resources were stunning -sparklers for the Fourth of July, colored eggs for Easter. It was the great American war chest-the fruits of sciences, the smokestacks, the canneries, the arsenals at Hartford, the Minnesota forests, the machine shops, the vast fields of corn and wheat they carried like freight trains; they carried it on their backs and shoulders-and for all the ambiguities of Vietnam, all the mysteries and unknowns, there was at least the single abiding certainty that they would never be at a loss for things to carry.

After the chopper took Lavender away, Lieutenant Jimmy Cross led his men into the village of Than Khe. They burned everything. They shot chickens and dogs, they trashed the village well, they called in artillery and watched the wreckage, then they marched for several hours through the hot afternoon, and then at dusk, while Kiowa explained how Lavender died, Lieutenant Cross found himself trembling.
He tried not to cry. With his entrenching tool, which weighed five pounds, he began digging a hole in the earth.
He felt shame. He hated himself He had loved Martha more than his men, and as a consequence Lavender was now dead, and this was something he would have to carry like a stone in his stomach for the rest of the war.
All he could do was dig. He used his entrenching tool like an ax, slashing, feeling both love and hate, and then later, when it was full dark, he sat at the bottom of his foxhole and wept. It went on for a long while. In part, he was grieving for Ted Lavender, but mostly it was for Martha, and for himself, because she belonged to another world, which was not quite real, and because she was a junior at Mount Sebastian College in New Jersey, a poet and a virgin and uninvolved, and because he realized she did not love him and never would.

Like cement, Kiowa whispered in the dark. I swear to God - boom-down. Not a word.
I've heard this, said Norman Bowker.
A pisser, you know? Still zipping himself up. Zapped while zipping.
All right, fine. That's enough.
Yeah, but you had to see it, the guy just
I heard, man. Cement. So why not shut the fuck up?
Kiowa shook his head sadly and glanced over at the hole where Lieutenant Jimmy Cross sat watching the night. The air was thick and wet. A warm, dense fog had settled over the paddies and there was the stillness that precedes rain.
After a time Kiowa sighed.
One thing for sure, he said. The lieutenant's in some deep hurt. I mean that crying jag - the way he was carrying on - it wasn't fake or anything, it was real heavy-duty hurt. The man cares.
Sure, Norman Bowker said.
Say what you want, the man does care.
We all got problems.
Not Lavender.
No, I guess not, Bowker said. Do me a favor, though.
Shut up?
That's a smart Indian. Shut up.
Shrugging, Kiowa pulled off his boots. He wanted to say more, just to lighten up his sleep, but instead he opened his New Testament and arranged it beneath his head as a pillow. The fog made things seem hollow and unattached. He tried not to think about Ted Lavender, but then he was thinking how fast it was, no drama, down and dead, and how it was hard to feet anything except surprise. It seemed unchristian. He wished he could find some great sadness, or even anger, but the emotion wasn't there and he couldn't make it happen. Mostly he felt pleased to be alive. He liked the smell of the New Testament under his check, the leather and ink and paper and glue, whatever the chemicals were. He liked hearing the sounds of night. Even his fatigue, it felt fine, the stiff muscles and the prickly awareness of his own body, a floating feeling. He enjoyed not being dead. Lying there, Kiowa admired Lieutenant Jimmy Cross's capacity for grief. He wanted to share the man's pain, he wanted to care as Jimmy Cross cared. And yet when he closed his eyes, all he could think was Boon-down, and all he could feel was the pleasure of having his boots off and the fog curling in around him and the damp soil and the Bible smells and the plush comfort of night.
After a moment Norman Bowker sat up in the dark.
What the hell, he said. You want to talk, talk. Tell it to me.
Forget it.
No, man, go on. One thing I hate, it's a silent Indian.

For the most part they carried themselves with poise, a kind of dignity. Now and then, however, there were times of panic, when they squealed or wanted to squeal but couldn't. When they twitched and made moaning sounds and covered their heads and said Dear Jesus and flopped around on the earth and fired their weapons blindly and cringed and sobbed and begged for the noise to stop and went wild and made stupid promises to themselves and to God and to their mothers and fathers, hoping not to die. In different ways, it happened to all of them. Afterward, when the firing ended, they would blink and peek up. They would touch their bodies, feeling shame, then quickly hiding it. They would force themselves to stand. As if in slow motion, frame by frame, the world would take on the old logic-absolute silence, then the wind, then sunlight, then voices. It was the burden of being alive. Awkwardly, the men would reassemble themselves, first in private, then in groups, becoming soldiers again. They would repair the leaks in their eyes. They would check for casualties, call in dust-offs, light cigarettes, try to smile, clear their throats and spit and begin cleaning their weapons. After a time someone would shake his head and say, No lie, I almost shit my pants, and someone else would laugh, which meant it was bad, yes, but the guy had obviously not shit his pants, it wasn't that bad, and in any case nobody would ever do such a thing and then go ahead and talk about it. They would squint into the dense, oppressive sunlight. For a few moments, perhaps, they would fall silent, lighting a joint and tracking its passage from man to man, inhaling, holding in the humiliation. Scary stuff, one of them might say. But then someone else would grin or flick his eyebrows and say, Roger-dodger, almost cut me a new asshole, almost.
There were numerous such poses. Some carried themselves with a sort of wistful resignation, others with pride or stiff soldierly discipline or good humor or macho zeal. They were afraid of dying but they were even more afraid to show it.
They found jokes to tell.
They used a hard vocabulary to contain the terrible softness. Greased, they'd say. Offed, lit up, zapped while zipping. It wasn't cruelty, just stage presence. They were actors and the war came at them in 3-D. When someone died, it wasn't quite dying, because in a curious way it seemed scripted, and because they had their fines mostly memorized, irony mixed with tragedy, and because they called it by other names, as if to encyst and destroy the reality of death itself. They kicked corpses. They cut off thumbs. They talked grunt lingo. They told stories about Ted Lavender's supply of tranquilizers, how the poor guy didn't feel a thing, how incredibly tranquil he was.
There's a moral here, said Mitchell Sanders.
They were waiting for Lavender's chopper, smoking the dead man's dope.
The moral's pretty obvious, Sanders said, and winked. Stay away from drugs. No joke, they'll ruin your day every time.
Cute, said Henry Dobbins.
Mind-blower, get it? Talk about wiggy- nothing left, just blood and brains.
They made themselves laugh.
There it is, they'd say, over and over, as if the repetition itself were an act of poise, a balance between crazy and almost crazy, knowing without going. There it is, which meant be cool, let it ride, because oh yeah, man, you can't change what can't be changed, there it is, there it absolutely and positively and fucking well is.
They were tough.
They carried all the emotional baggage of men who might die. Grief, terror, love, longing -these were intangibles, but the intangibles had their own mass and specific gravity, they had tangible weight. They carried shameful memories. They carried the common secret of cowardice barely restrained, the instinct to run or freeze or hide, and in many respects this was the heaviest burden of all, for it could never be put down, it required perfect balance and perfect posture. They carried their reputations. They carried the soldier's greatest fear, which was the fear of blushing. Men killed, and died, because they were embarrassed not to. It was what had brought them to the war in the first place, nothing positive, no dreams of glory or honor, just to avoid the blush of dishonor. They died so as not to die of embarrassment. They crawled into tunnels and walked point and advanced under fire. Each morning, despite the unknowns, they made their legs move. They endured. They kept humping. They did not submit to the obvious alternative, which was simply to close the eyes and fall. So easy, really. Go limp and tumble to the ground and let the muscles unwind and not speak and not budge until your buddies picked you up and lifted you into the chopper that would roar and dip its nose and carry you off to the world. A mere matter of falling, yet no one ever fell. It was not courage, exactly; the object was not valor. Rather, they were too frightened to be cowards.
By and large they carried these things inside, maintaining the masks of composure. They sneered at sick call. They spoke bitterly about guys who had found release by shooting off their own toes or fingers. Pussies, they'd say. Candyasses. It was fierce, mocking talk, with only a trace of envy or awe, but even so, the image played itself out behind their eyes.
They imagined the muzzle against flesh. They imagined the quick, sweet pain, then the evacuation to Japan, then a hospital with warm beds and cute geisha nurses.
They dreamed of freedom birds.
At night, on guard, staring into the dark, they were carried away by jumbo jets. They felt the rush of takeoff Gone! they yelled. And then velocity, wings and engines, a smiling stewardess-but it was more than a plane, it was a real bird, a big sleek silver bird with feathers and talons and high screeching. They were flying. The weights fell off; there was nothing to bear. They laughed and held on tight, feeling the cold slap of wind and altitude, soaring, thinking It's over, I'm gone! - they were naked. They were light and free-it was all lightness, bright and fast and buoyant, light as light, a helium buzz in the brain, a giddy bubbling in the lungs as they were taken up over the Clouds and the war, beyond duty, beyond gravity and mortification anti global entanglements -Sin loi! They yelled, I'm sorry, motherfuckers, but I'm out of it, I'm goofed, I'm on a space cruise, I'm gone! -and it was a restful, disencumbered sensation, just riding the fight waves, sailing; that big silver freedom bird over the mountains and oceans, over America, over the farms and great sleeping cities and cemeteries and highways and the Golden Arches of McDonald's. It was flight, a kind of fleeing, a kind of falling, falling higher and higher, spinning off the edge of the earth and beyond the sun and through the vast, silent vacuum where there were no burdens and where everything weighed exactly nothing. Gone! they screamed, I'm sorry but I'm gone! And so at night, not quite dreaming, they gave themselves over to lightness, they were carried, they were purely borne.

On the morning after Ted Lavender died, First Lieutenant Jimmy Cross crouched at the bottom of his foxhole and burned Martha's letters. Then he burned the two photographs. There was a steady rain falling, which made it difficult, but he used heat tabs and Sterno to build a small fire, screening it with his body, holding the photographs over the tight blue flame with the tips of his fingers.
He realized it was only a gesture. Stupid, he thought. Sentimental, too, but mostly just stupid.
Lavender was dead. You couldn't burn the blame.
Besides, the letters were in his head. And even now, without photographs, Lieutenant Cross could see Martha playing volleyball in her white gym shorts and yellow T-shirt. He could see her moving in the rain.
When the fire died out, Lieutenant Cross pulled his poncho over his shoulders and ate breakfast from a can.
There was no great mystery, he decided.
In those burned letters Martha had never mentioned the war, except to say, Jimmy take care of yourself. She wasn't involved. She signed the letters "Love," but it wasn't love, and all the fine lines and technicalities did not matter.
The morning came up wet and blurry. Everything seemed part of everything else, the fog and Martha and the deepening rain.
It was a war, after all.
Half smiling, Lieutenant Jimmy Cross took out his maps. He shook his head hard, as if to clear it, then bent forward and began planning the day's march. In ten minutes, or maybe twenty, he would rouse the men and they would pack up and head west, where the maps showed the country to be green and inviting. They would do what they had always done. The rain might add some weight, but otherwise it would be one more day layered upon all the other days.
He was realistic about it. There was that new hardness in his stomach.
No more fantasies, he told himself.
Henceforth, when lie thought about Martha, it would be only to think that she belonged elsewhere. He would shut down the daydreams. This was not Mount Sebastian, it was another world, where there were no pretty poems or midterm exams, a place where men died because of carelessness and gross stupidity. Kiowa was right. Boom-down, and you were dead, never partly dead.
Briefly, in the rain, Lieutenant Cross saw Martha's gray eyes gazing back at him.
He understood.
It was very sad, he thought. The things men carried inside. The things men did or felt they had to do.
He almost nodded at her, but didn't.
Instead he went back to his maps. He was now determined to perform his duties firmly and without negligence. It wouldn't help Lavender, he knew that, but from this point on he would comport himself as a soldier. He would dispose of his good-luck pebble. Swallow it, maybe, or use Lee Strunk's slingshot, or just drop it along the trail. On the march he would impose strict field discipline. He would be careful to send out flank security, to prevent straggling or bunching up, to keep his troops moving at the proper pace and at the proper interval. He would insist on clean weapons. He would confiscate the remainder of Lavender's dope. Later in the day, perhaps, he would call the men together and speak to them plainly. He would accept the blame for what had happened to Ted Lavender. He would be a man about it. He would look them in the eyes, keeping his chin level, and he would issue the new SOPs in a calm, impersonal tone of voice, an officer's voice, leaving no room for argument or discussion. Commencing immediately, he'd tell them, they would no longer abandon equipment along the route of march. They would police up their acts. They would get their shit together, and keep it together, and maintain it neatly and in good working order.
He would not tolerate laxity. He would show strength, distancing himself.
Among the men there would be grumbling, of course, and maybe worse, because their days would seem longer and their loads heavier, but Lieutenant Cross reminded himself that his obligation was not to be loved but to lead. He would dispense with love; it was not now a factor. And if anyone quarreled or complained, he would simply tighten his lips and arrange his shoulders in the correct command posture. He might give a curt little nod. Or he might not. He might just shrug and say Carry on, then they would saddle up and form into a column and move out toward the villages west of Than Khe. (1986)

R&R rest and rehabilitation leave
SOP standard operating procedure
RTO radio and telephone operator
M&M joking term for medical supplies
KIA killed in action
AOs areas of operation
Sin loi Sorry







Why do you think O'Brien wrote this story the way he did? What effect does this format have on you, on the message of the story?

Why does Jimmy Cross burn the pictures and letters from Martha?

What parallels can you find between this story and "Sonny's Blues?"

To learn more about the Vietnam War, visit http:www.pbs.org/battlefieldvietnam/

35 Comments:

At 9/12/2007 9:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

O’ Brien tells the story of soldiers during the Vietnam War about the things they carry represented their burden, necessities, responsibilities as well as essence of who they are. The things they carried also represented their ties to the community they came from. In some way they stood for their aspiration, desires and dreams. Jimmy Cross the leader of the soldiers was burden with two things. One was a letter and a photo of a college friend Martha and the responsibilities of his man. But after the death of some of his man he decided to let go the memories of Martha and focus more on how to lead his man.

416

 
At 9/12/2007 11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The Things They Carried" was written from the view of someone who had actually been in the war. His perspective was interesting in the way he constantly talked about what each individual soldiers carried daily. It was as if that was all they did, carry stuff. The fighting and fear was secondary. But everyday, from when they got up in the morning to when they ended their day, they carried stuff. Everyone carried 'different' stuff, but stuff just the same. Depending on your background, your responsibility or what was important to you at the time. It was stuff that helped them make it through their day. They carried memories, inspirational items, favorite foods or clothes, entertainment and weapons of choice. I know these items had to be very important or they wouldn't have added them to the weight they carried on a daily basis. They would get rid of things that would weigh them down physically or mentally as soon as it became necessary. I enjoyed the story, It made me think about what I carry around in my bag everyday and how necessary it need to be in order to warrant a place in the bag that I am never without.

 
At 3/16/2009 8:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading this story alot. I believe that O'brien wrote this story the way he did to try to demonstrate things that are carried do not only have to be objects. This story made me think about the objects that each soldier carried. Especially when he would talk about Lavender dying and every time he would mention something else that he carried. I like how O' Brien said that that each item that every soldier carried was a symbol of what type of person they were. Jimmy Cross was influenced alot on the love of a woman. He learned that he had to lose focus on her because if he did not he would lose the lives of him and his men.
*725*

 
At 3/16/2009 2:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading this story. I think that in the way that O'Brien describes all of the items that the soldiers physically carried, you can feel the emotional and mental burden that they carry. You can really feel how each individual deals (or doesn't) with his issues back home and the ones that they face in Vietnam.
I think that there is an underlying message of just how heavy the burden of fighting for this country really is. Especially in a time where soldiers were looked bad upon when they came home, if they came home. This story helps to put yourself in the shoes of a Vietnam soldier and what they went through emotionally.
-704

 
At 5/25/2009 10:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought this was a great story. It showed soliders not as they are, but who they were before becoming trained killers. They had girlfriends, traditions, and pasts. I really liked how it was written, simply just stating what they carried in all the forms - real or emotional. Describing how what they carried was not only the equipment on their backs but also the emotional memories of their past and reminents of the earth they trodded through. Towards the end when Lt. Cross burned the pictures of Martha he carried I think it showed how the men have to seperate themselves from the real world and the lives they lived before to make the change into the soliders they are. I also liked how he was able to tell a story of war without the brutal gory reality of it, yet still have a impact.
~818

 
At 5/30/2009 12:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I started to read this so called short story, I was really hoping that it was about Lieutenant Jimmy Cross and Martha. But that was only the first paragraph. When I was trying to read the second paragraph, I was having a hard time knowing what they were talking about. Once I started to understand all the gun talk, the writer started to talk about Martha again. I found myself feeling really sad and then when the next paragraph started I was really happy.
When it comes up to what they carry, it’s way too much. Not only are they caring the things for the war, they are caring everything that has happened to them in the war. I can’t say that they should forget but maybe just not hold on to things. At the same time, I think that’s how they are making it thought the war. By remember al the things that had happened to them. All the friends that they have lost. And the love ones that are wanting for them to come back home.
For Lieutenant Jimmy Cross, the only way he was making it throw the War was to think about Martha. When he finally let her go, I think that he lose a part of himself that he needed to make it throw. I don’t understand why he was making everything his felt when I really wasn’t. Maybe that’s how it is in the war, I don’t know.
816

 
At 5/31/2009 9:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that every environment directly affects the people in in. In the things they carried I think the soldiers carried these personal things with them, for some because they were afraid that the war would make them forget, for others for an escape from reality, an excuse for them to step back and drift off for a moment.
As far as the things that they had to carry for their position, well this was a way for them to prove who they were to the other soldiers and to themselves.
I didn't like the part when Jimmy Cross burned all of his things from Maria. I understood why he did it; however, I do not believe that destroying physical things can make you forget about a person. You can have a lifetime of memories with no physical evidence and still remember those memories piece by piece.
All in all I felt the story was way too long and repetitive. I had to read it twice just to remember it. I was not a big fan of this one.
809

 
At 6/01/2009 10:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is one of the most real war-stories I have ever read. Its told in away that I could image the weight and pain of the things they carried everyday. I got to see how each man saw the world around him and what he found the most comfort in. This was a story that when on and on, and I felt it conveyed the feeling to the reader of going on and on, just like the soldiers felt. I was deeply touched by Lieutenant Cross and how he so bad wanted to hang onto love or something deeper. How he dreamed of this woman, Martha and being with her. However Lt. Cross knew she would never love him. This broke my heart, and gave me a new view on how long and terrible the Vietnam War must have been. I also thought it was interesting the reason they kept going was they would be to embarrassed to stop. When the author talked about flying away from this place on a plane that became a large bird, I felt free and I could begin to understand what it was like to carry so many things. -811

 
At 6/14/2009 11:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think this story was a good interpretation of what it's like to be in war. And the title is perfect. It explains what you need to have with you, for battle, and to keep yourself going. It shows that even in the middle of battle, fighting and death isn't the only thing that runs through your mind. It explains how quickly a life can be lost, and the guilt/blame someone can feel when one of their men die. It also shows how something different keeps everyone going. To one guy, it can be love letters and a pebble from the jersey shore, and to another it's tranquilizers. Weather people realize it or not, everyone has something that keeps them going.

-805

 
At 6/15/2009 2:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The Things they carried"
This story was a bit much a little depressing, more depressing to read then the others. Each soldier need something to hold on to in order to get through the day as movtivation. You begin to think of the things you hold on to and why they are so important. jimmy is scorned and has a heavy heart because he has been through so much. He doesn't know if Martha love him, he lost one of his men which he feels responsible for, he his extremely young and has lost his innocence and love of life as a result of this war. There is this immense struggle of life and death, unanswered questions and fears that is so strong throughout the story. I did not like the repition of the style of writing but i understood the emphasis of it....
Zephir 821

 
At 8/27/2009 5:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The things they carried is both physical and emotional. I thought it interesting that everybody carried something different yet useful. I would imagine the most of them would have to carry most of the same equipment depending on their M.O.S. I have to say that I can agree with the statement the narrator said towards the end of the story. "Men killed, and died, because they were embarrassed not to. It was what had brought them to the war in the first place, nothing positive, no dreams of glory or honor, just to avoid the blush of dishonor. They died so as not to die of embarrassment." I think that he made a good point. people don't want to look cowardice in others eyes. Bravery is overrated. Stupidity can sometimes be mistaken for bravery in my opinion.-119

 
At 9/11/2009 4:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

At first I didn't like the story. I already had figured that "the things they carried" was not only about exactly what they carried physically, but emotionally as well. It first started to explain what each man carried with them. Each item explained symbolically who that person was inside. Then it went into a bunch of numbers and things describing guns. If I had actually know what the guns looked like then I would have had a better connection but because I didn't I kind of got out of the story a bit. I feel that it was good for Lieutenant Jimmy Cross to have that unreal relationship with Martha in a way because it helped him to get through and what's going on around him in the war. He kind of did get too involved with his "relationship" with Martha, but he should not have blamed himself for Lavenders death. Overall it was a good story. 107

 
At 9/12/2009 10:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed reading this story. Lieutenant Jimmy Cross, as well as all the other soldiers, carried a lot of physical and emotional baggage. Cross in particular, had vivid visions of Martha, which seemed to occupy his focus most of the time. The idea I think the author wants to portray is the relevance of how each person individual values relate to the success of their mission. Most of the fallen soldiers carried things that seemed unnecessary for battle. It really makes me reflect on my life, in order to realize that some of the things that I may hold on to could either be catalyst for my success or be the cause of future misfortune.

#115

 
At 9/13/2009 7:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought this was a very well written thought provoking piece of work. I loved it! I was moved by the personal things the men seemed to need to carry with them. I say needed to carry with them because their individual items that were personal were things that helped them get through the minutes, hours, days, months. You could understand Lutenient Cross'
feelings of wanting to let go of his obsession with the girl back home when he lost a man. Things were put back into perspective for him. It was also a great message that he relates to the reader that the everyday person cannot any longer see the world as he does. Unless you have lived it, it is just another news story. I think it is a sad but intriguing story. 118

 
At 9/14/2009 11:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed this story. It really got to the core about what soldiers go through during times of war. with all of the tv shows and movies, there isn't anything that could have captured what O'brien did in this story. It had raw emotion and pain throughout the words and descriptions of Jimmy and his men.

108

 
At 9/14/2009 2:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This story was memorable. I enjoyed reading it. It mainly tells about what soldiers carried in the time of war. Each man had the necessary things, but also something a little extra. The extra things were the things they cherished. By the things they carried is what told their personality. The story did go back and forth, but it wasn't confusing at all. It all lead up to the same point in one part of the story. I don't agree with Cross giving up on his love, but he had all the reasons why. One of his men got killed because his head was in the clouds. Losing a life is not to be taken lightly. He also made up reasons not to love her, eventually he gave up on love itself. #114

 
At 9/14/2009 4:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's really sad to think that these are the thoughts going through these soldiers' heads. I completely understand why they would think that way, but it's a way of thinking that's hard to get out of and will screw them up for the rest of their lives. Life can't just be all about the serious. I think we all need our fair amount of frivolity or else we'd end up slitting our own throats. Although it's a lot easier for me to realize that because I've never fought in a war or had any similar sobering experience.
I noticed that the way this was written was very methodical and repetitive and with very limited emotion. That must be the way the soldiers have to think in order survive and it's the way Jimmy Cross now has to think in order to deal with everything that's happening to him in the war.
War is just way too much reality for any one person to deal with.
117

 
At 9/14/2009 5:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was a very well written story. I loved the amount of detail. It really helped give me a visual of what was going on. Jimmy Cross played the saviour role. He had to sacrifice his love and hopes for martha, for the sake of his men. This thinfgs they carried wsere not only objects, they were symbols of each soldier and who they were as a person.

 
At 9/14/2009 5:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the last one was - 116

 
At 12/02/2009 12:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a story about struggles, love, and hope. The soldiers in this story are battling with memories of back home and the duties they have to carry in the Vietnam War. The actual things that they carry with them are also symbolic and represent their homes, and loved ones. I don't think we can understand the pain of being away from our loved ones until we truly put into a situation like this. Loved the story and the message!!
#026

 
At 12/06/2009 6:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jimmy Cross burns the letters and photographs because they are taking his mind of the war putting everybody in his company in danger. He was thinking about Martha to much so he blames himself for Lavenders death.017

 
At 12/06/2009 9:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i liked this story. it was a love story with life struggles. It very difficult being a war with loved ones, families and friends back home. the things they carried represneted that.
004

 
At 12/07/2009 5:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love how O'brien describes his characters through the things that they are carrying with them while at war. I have never read another story that went about character description that way. It was an easy read. I didnt want to put the story down through most of it.

014

 
At 12/08/2009 7:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found this to be s good story the soldier had huge responibilty according to the different jobs they had to do was how they new what they hsd to carry Jimmy blamed hisself for Ted's death then he was mad at the world and try to innore his feeling for Martha but he was so in love with her nomatter what he did he couldn't get over her that was true love 006

 
At 12/09/2009 12:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the story that O' Brien wrote was about the Vietnam war and the things the soldiers carried during their trails through hard times during the Vietnam War. I thing personally it was a boring story because it just listing things that the soldiers carried that was it. also it was about the lives of the soldiers and their reasons for being were they were in the war in Vietnam.
021

 
At 12/12/2009 6:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I felt Lt. Cross was to wrapped up in his lonely love affair with Martha and if he wasn't too busy thinking about her during the time that Lavender was killed then maybe he would had a cleared head to take in what his follow soldiers' observations were like Kiowa , he is Native American and that makes him sorta one with nature and he said something isn't right , its too quite here basically and Cross was too caught up with his infatuation with the girl that he could have spotted right on that it was a set-up and saved lavender's life in the process

016

 
At 12/14/2009 1:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It was interesting to know what solders carried during the war. Carrying things like a bible, pictures and others personal things helped them go through the rough times of war. I like how the author goes into details about the things they carried.

-020

 
At 12/14/2009 2:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I first read Tim O’Brien’s “The Things They Carried” as a senior in High School. My class spent a good amount of time discussing the concept of soldiers returning from the war and the difficultly they faced when trying to assimilate back into their old lives. Dealing with post-service life is a tremendous struggle for anyone to ever serve their country. Some veterans find something to help them cope with this struggle. For Tim O’Brien, his technique is writing.

Just as Tim O’Brien writes to survive, Sonny from “Sonny’s Blues” plays jazz to survive. Sonny is also trying to move forward in life, moving past his addictions to drugs and essentially start fresh. In this way, Sonny and Tim O’Brien are very similar. They both use their passion to express themselves and move forward through difficult situations.

018

 
At 12/14/2009 3:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

O' Brien talks about all the many different things that these men carried. Each one having meaning to each person but rarely to anyone else. It was these things they carried that made them feel human still. Some of these things seemed odd to be carrying but to them they were memories, feelings something that reminded them at the end of the day, sitting in their fox holes, who they were. I could sit here myself and list all things I carried when I was in Iraq. But the point is everything I carried had a meaning. And at the end of the day I would sit down with my most important of things and remember.

007

 
At 12/14/2009 3:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

In The story " The Things They Carried" I really liked the perspective of how it was written. The title has so much mean compared to the story its self. Everything they carried has meaning to their life's and how they acted. But though out the story I felt that It had a sad spin, People tried to for get the fact that they have love once back home and focus on surviving.

#003

 
At 12/14/2009 5:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I enjoyed this excerpt because the more i read the better i understand the meaning of the title. At first i assume the writer was referring to the the actually object the the soldiers carried on the backs, such a equipment and memorabilia. However mt interpretation led me to believe the title is a reference to the mental or emotional baggage that the carried. It seems their emotional determined the outcome of their lives and played a huge role on their overall behavior. For example, Lavender was scary and used drugs to mentally "get away" from the war but he was killed unexpectedly, whereas the other soldiers we too scared to be scared had the opposite result.
010

 
At 3/15/2010 12:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

All we have are memories; in what ever form they may appear. A photograph, a song, a side profile of someone else;giving a slight resemblance to someone we know.
After the death of his men, O'Brien may have thought, that his thoughts were in the way. Life is what it is..if he was to survive, he had to tough it out, stay focused and live. If he survived, he could collect those memories.121

 
At 3/16/2010 1:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Things They Carried was about the passage of child to man. O'Brien tells us that Cross is 20 years old and that he is in love with a woman who doesn’t love him back and it seems like she is just writing to write to someone in the war and not really caring, as O'Brien says - uninvolved. The whole group was affected by one man's Ted Lavender’s, passing. They might not have admitted it to themselves but they really cared. Everyone was affected by it. In the end I think that the passing of Lavender helped Cross to really admit to himself and move on about Martha. It helped him to grow older in a night and start to think in the present because that place was a very dangerous place to be. He knew that all the joking was a way to cope so he didn’t hold anything against his men but in a way made him care more and realize that he needed to stop daydreaming. The burning of the pictures is a hard thing to do and i think that it was the right thing to do. Even if he had been in a moment of weakness when he did that it was a final statement and perhaps one of those wild promises that was talked about earlier. When reading the story I felt overwhelmed by the things that they had to carry. Not only the weapons and rations because even when you just hear about those things you automatically think large, but the inner troubles are the things that people don’t want to think that soldiers have because they don’t want to be reminded that they are humans too. They are just trying to protect the ones you love and being distant helps some civilians. I’m not sure why but at times I had to stop reading and just look out my window. It was a very powerful reading and the way that it was formatted greatly contributed to that feeling.

~105

 
At 3/23/2010 2:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

echnically speaking, The Things They Carried is extremely well-written. O'Brien is a good, tight writer who knows how to weave a story. But even while I admire his style and technique, I am put off by the emptiness and moral vacuum he leaves when his machine guns and grenades finish ripping open your insides. Good story.

#117

 
At 3/23/2010 6:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

After doing my author paper on O'Brien and reading this story I realized how much he tends to write about what probably happened during his time in Vietnam after college. Everyone carried different things throughout their journey and they all meant something different to one another. Even if it was a weapon, clothes, or a picture of an old girlfriend they all had something to remind themselves of who they are outside of Vietnam.

119

 

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