Jamaica Kincaid and "Girl"
"I write out of defiance." Jamaica Kincaid, February 5, 2001
For more information about Jamaica Kincaid, visit these websites:
http://voices.cla.umn.edu/vg/bios/entries/kincaid_jamaica.html
http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/arts/features/womenwriters/kincaid_life.html
Girl
by Jamaica Kincaid
Wash the white clothes on Monday and put them on the stone heap; wash the color clothes on Tuesday and put them on the clothesline to dry; don't walk barehead in the hot sun; cook pumpkin fritters in very hot sweet oil; soak your little cloths right after you take them off; when buying cotton to make yourself a nice blouse, be sure that it doesn't have gum on it, because that way it won't hold up well after a wash; soak salt fish overnight before you cook it; is it true that you sing benna in Sunday school?; always eat your food in such a way that it won't turn someone else's stomach; on Sundays try to walk like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming; don't sing benna in Sunday school; you mustn't speak to wharbfflies will follow you; but I don't sing benna on Sundays at all and never in Sunday school; this is how to sew on a button; this is how to make a button-hole for the button you have just sewed on; this is how to hem a dress when you see the hem coming down and so to prevent yourself from looking like the slut I know you are so bent on becoming; this is how you iron your father's khaki shirt so that it doesn't have a crease; this is how you iron your father's khaki pants so that they don't have a crease; this is how you grow okrbafar from the house, because okra tree harbors red ants; when you are growing dasheen, make sure it gets plenty of water or else it makes your throat itch when you are eating it; this is how you sweep a corner; this is how you sweep a whole house; this is how you sweep a yard; this is how you smile to someone you don't like too much; this is how you smile to someone you don't like at all; this is how you smile to someone you like completely; this is how you set a table for tea; this is how you set a table for dinner; this is how you set a table for dinner with an important guest; this is how you set a table for lunch; this is how you set a table for breakfast; this is how to behave in the presence of men who don't know you very well, and this way they won't recognize immediately the slut I have warned you against becoming; be sure to wash every day, even if it is with your own spit; don't squat down to play marblebsyou are not a boy, you know; don't pick people's flowerbsyou might catch something; don't throw stones at blackbirds, because it might not be a blackbird at all; this is how to make a bread pudding; this is how to make doukona; this is how to make pepper pot; this is how to make a good medicine for a cold; this is how to make a good medicine to throw away a child before it even becomes a child; this is how to catch a fish; this is how to throw back a fish you don't like, and that way something bad won't fall on you; this is how to bully a man; this is how a man bullies you; this is how to love a man; and if this doesn't work there are other ways, and if they don't work don't feel too bad about giving up; this is how to spit up in the air if you feel like it, and this is how to move quick so that it doesn't fall on you; this is how to make ends meet; always squeeze bread to make sure it's fresh; but what if the baker won't let me feel the bread?; you mean to say that after all you are really going to be the kind of woman who the baker won't let near the bread?
"Girl"
What kind of relationship does Girl have with her mother?
What kinds of messages does the mother give Girl about how to behave?
What kinds of messages did your parents give you when you were an adolescent? Are those messages similar to the ones the mother gives to Girl?
Do you think that this story would have been more effective if it had been written another way?
posted by Elizabeth @ 12:01 PM
24 Comments:
I think the relationship between the mother and daughter was a tough love relationship. In the girl's eye she probably was thinking that her mom was tough on her to be mean but that wasn't the case. Her mother was showing her that she loved her daughter and wanted to raise her up in the best way possible. Even though in the story it sounded like the mother was nagging which was true because of how she said things but at the same time she was being a good mother. For me, my mother is not that way with me saying do this and do that but she did teach me things she might not have said it in the best way possible but since I got older I knew where she was coming from, she wanted me to be a lady. My mom gave me some life lessons but some things we never did talk about. 503
The impression that I get when reading “Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid is that it is written in the voice of a daughter reflecting upon her relationship with her mother. I imagine that this woman is in her adult life and is beginning to see the responsibilities and hardships that life brings. This new found perspective is giving the subject, (the girl) a new found appreciation about her relationship with her mother. Like a collage of memories the woman reflect upon the times that she spend with her mother as a child and the way that her mother expressed affection. At first glance it seems like the mother is cold and un-affectionate. It seems like the woman has for most of her life felt that her mother lacked a certain kindness and affinity towards her. In her stream of memories it is just a tirade of orders that her mother expressed to her daughter leaving her to feel like a nameless, un-cared for child. But I believe that the subject, looking back on how her mother interacted with her is coming to understand that her mother may not have coddled her and shown her the warmth that she wished for but the subject is coming to realize that her mother was doing her best in the only way she knew how. Life is tough and tiring, and for some the best way to show love is to try and make things easier for another, tell them the lesions that you’ve learned, without the bull.
#708
Some may feel as if the mother in this short story is coming off a little "too strong" towards the daughter, and I could see that however I believe it is just though love. I've been raised around 7 aunts and I have seen the treatment done towards their daughters. It wasn't out of being mean, it was done because that's how the society portrays everyone. If a girl does a certain thing that the "average" girl doesn't do then she will be talked about in one way or another at the least.
I personally wouldn't talk to my own daughter that way with calling her a "slut that she is bent on becoming". I think that's going a little too far but to each his own. It was a good read.
-709
716-I really like this short story, although at first i jus thought her mother was being a nag. i enjoyed it because it reminds me of classic version of what our parents say today. this story reminds me of how todays children see their parent talking to them, lecturing them on what and how to act, say, or do with out taking the child's feelings and thought into consideration, just like in this story when girls mother barely lets girl say anything at all. i also feel like her and her mother have a tough love relationship because her mother says things that are too harsh as to how she dresses and says like tramp you know you are because in actuality her mother is trying to make her better then she was, which we all can relate to because everyones parents goals is for their children to be better then they were.
When I read “Girl” I could understand where the mother was coming from. The mother was teaching the girl how to become a lady. At the time when the story was written woman had to know how to fix everything. Woman had to not only know how to cook but also know how to make med. When the mother keep saying “a slut that you are going to become.” I really don’t feel that the mother was calling her a slut but was really saying if she didn’t get married and wasn’t the best wife she could be then she wouldn’t be looked at like a slut. If she had a child before she was married then she was a slut. Everything that the mother was saying was to really make her daughter a better person.
816
This story really annoyed me. It reminded me of my childhood, which wasn't bad at all, but it reminded me of the negative part of it. My mother constantly nagged me and my sisters and my father. She was so controlling, and sounded exactly like the mother in the story. The girl in the story seemed like she was trying to object to her mother's comments, but couldn't get a word in. Eventually, I believe, that girl will grow up and think for herself. Some of the things that the mother said may carry with her, and others will go in one ear and out the other. The thing that annoys me the most is, why don't mothers (parents) worry about the important things, and stop nick picking at the little things that aren't so important. 810
At first this short story hurt my head. I wanted to stop reading. It reminded me of when I was younger and adults in my life were always telling me what to do. Sometimes what they were telling me I had to hear over and over. I would get mad when they would state the obvious. So I know how "girl" must have felt, however I find myself repeating important information to my little brother. I do understand now that adult just want to help and protect the children in their lives. I did find it interesting near the end of the story, the mothers advise becomes more like a friend than it authority figure. I have found in my own life as I have become an adult, my mother is more of a friend. Also the later on advise in the story, is more the hard facts of life. I do feel the way "girl's" mother spoke to her was unnecessarily harsh. There's a kinder way to say things that can still guide a children.
811
Reading this story was a little overwhelming for me. It was like a lifetime of advice and lessons all put together in a few short paragraphs. I think that Girl too must have been overwhelmed and frustrated at times with all the things her mother was telling her to do and not to do. It is sometimes difficult for children to understand that parents give lessons based on how they were treated as children and the mistakes that they made. I often hear people say "I will never make my children go through that." These are instances and experiences that make us develop and grow and be able to teach our children what to do or not to do.
Reading this story made me think of all the things my parents used to tell me when I was gowning up... never lie, never cheat, act like a lady, treat others the way you want to be treated, work hard, study hard... many of these lessons have made me who I am today. I can imagine I will do the same to my children if that day comes...
-809
A lot of other people have said something along the lines of this being a "tough love" relationship. A little part of me agrees, but most of me doesn't. I think that all this mother is trying to do help her daughter become a better person. She's trying to teach her how to be a good house wife, a good maid, a good daughter, and a good person. However, even though the mother might have had the best intentions; i do NOT think that this is the right way of going about it. Telling somewhat what to do, and who to be, doesn't seem like it would work. If someone was trying to mold me into what they consider "perfect" or a "good person" i would probably rebel and do what they told me not to. There's a big difference between giving suggestions, and just being bossy and controlling.
-805
I think Kincaid portrayed the conversation between a mother and daughter from her perspective very well. I actually felt like rolling my eyes at one point. That's horrible how the mother kept calling her a slut from the beginning, and she probably never even kissed a boy. I imagine there are mothers out there who say and believe things like that- that all little girls are innately promiscuous, but I would like to think it's the time period that is mostly at fault. I'd like to think that people are more educated in how to treat people, especially their children, on an emotional level. It almost makes me think the mother was drunk or something, to say some of the things she did.
Oh well, that's just my perspective. It was a great read.
808
The style of writing for this piece is very unique however i think it intentionally forshadows the type of relationship the mother & daughter have with one another. The relationship that the mother & daughter have with one another seems very traditonal and old school so to speak. The short wording and phrases of imperative statments indicate how the mother is strict and her specific view of an obedient child especially a girl becoming a woman. Although the mother's intentions are good to inform her daughter about proper female behavior in their cultutre with a strict hand it also symbolizes a narrow minded way of life that can will cause conflict in their relationship as she matures. She is mocking her mother's rule by rule orders with her writing style. In the end after all is said and done, will she even be the woman she was supposed to be or better yet, will she be the type of woman her husband will appreciate and want her to be, which ultimatley has nothing to do with the woman she wants to be. The mother intends to have an answer for every type of situation her daughter will experience. The mother makes several points about promiscuity referring to her duaghter as a slut almost naturally obviously expressing that those desires of sex are unexceptable and extremely taboo. Her daughter is to be a domestically savy obedient woman who is the essence of a true lady who dare not stray from tradition & culture. She does not speak of education, or travel, or other desires in life that may arise, she speaks of limitless traditons and restrictions of her intrepretation of a lady. This piece is her outlet from her strict narrow minded life as a child. There is a lack of trust in the mother daughter relationship which only leads to rebellion. My mothers's message to me was to carry myself as a lady while remaining independent ans confident. I was to abide by some strict rules which were follwed by explanations. What I did understand some other close family members would explain and guided me through. I always had and option of speaking my mind respectfully and asking questions. Education & intelligence was extremely important in my upbinging. If the story was written another way the points may have been more obvious to the reader but this style of writing subjects the reader to search deeper for diferent meanings... Obviously this story speaks on a generation and culture that values women as inferior and domestic. If I were the mother my converstaion would be very differnet to my child with the same intentions....
Number 823 Zephir
The relationships that parents share with their kids differ with every culture. The mother and daughter share a plain old fashioned Caribbean relationship. This relationship is fortified with tough love and shores intended on building character and awareness. I believe that because of our past experiences as children, we assume that the mother is just barking orders at her daughter. Some of the things the mother mentions are everyday things a Jamaican girl should know how to do by the time she becomes a woman. Our cultural differences play a big part in the way we interpret this short story. Neither you nor I have ever done half the the things the mother asked of her daughter. I can relate to this story because my parents are from the Caribbean. Growing up we had many shores. Everyone played a part in the household. I am very thankful of my parents for doing that. I didn't know it then, but I know now that they were just helping me build character. The story, in my mind, is effective enough. Ms. Kincaid reminds us all of the difficult task of absorbing a ton of information as kids. She also reminds us of how annoying that task really was... 815
This story was very overwhelming, and i'm sure that fits the tone of the mother and daughter's entire relationship. Overwhelming and overbearing. She gives her very strict instructions on how to behave, and leaves very little room for her own personality or individuality. My mother always raised me to be an individual, and always prided herself on not "telling" me things to do, but instead just guiding me in the right directions. I think the story was written in a very abrasive and also very effective way. If it was written any other way i don't think you'd get the true picture of how this mother was speaking. Written in this manner you are overwhelmed yourself, and can easily be put into her exact place.
823
When all said and done, I do think that Jamaica's obviously overprotective mother, had good intentions, but part of growing up is being able to learn from your own mistakes. I feel that some parents try to discipline a bit too hard and as a result of that any young teenager is going to get annoyed. This is normal procedure for parents, yet I think it is important to know when cut the ambilical chord. In some cases, teens that have little freedom tend to do the exact opposite of what their parents so restless tried to teach as a defense mechanism and a source of security. Either way, the only way to learn about life is to experience it for youself, and try to learn from mistakes.
814
I thought this was a typical case of a mother trying to live her life through her daughter. I felt that she was suffering maybe a result of things she experienced in her life and constantly came down on "girl" as some kind of release. She always had some strict guidance to give but I know through my life, it's not what you say, it's how you say it. The constant scolding and use of harsh names, such as "slut", could be a cause for this girl to do that exact opposite of what her mother is telling her not to do. There can not be an open and honest dialouge if there is one person talking, who refuses to listen and allow the other person to respond.
In this short story, I think that the beginning the mother is giving the daughter advice on how to behave before the consequences. The list goes on with things she feels her daughter should control. I feel that as it goes on, these were things her daughter has done and she is trying to teach her a lesson. The mother repeatedly speaks on how she does not want her daughter to become a slut. I think her daughter has possibly already become one because of this list of nags. Jamaica Kincaid could have been the 'girl' she is talking about. The attitude of the mother could be how she felt her mother was sending her the message.
#114
i like this story; although it is short and fragmented, it gives good insight to what life is like for the mother and what it will likely be like for the daughter. i think that the mother is not trying to predict her daughters future but is telling her daughter, in an indirect way, the sotry of her life; especially how she keeps coming back to not being a slut and then gives her daughter a recipe for a homemade abortion; saying those two things are in direct conflict and are hard to say with authority unless you have done them yourself.
110
I am not a mother, but I am a daughter and the relationship between a mother and daughter is not always the easiest. My mother is my best friend but my biggest critique. Sometimes giving opinions when they weren't necessarily asked for. When I was younger I was easily annoyed at the demands she would throw my way. Now I am so gratefull for it. It has made me who I am today and I am proud of that. What I felt was nagging was really just her molding me into a respectful young lady. I still role my eyes when she pats me on the back, (trying to tell me to stand up straight because I'm slouching) but she is right so I just correct my posture without complaining.
112
I think the relationship in this story reveals the typical relation between mother and daughter. The mother wants to guide her young, off in the world on the right morals and having ladylike tendencies; in stead of being the "slut" her mother thought she was becoming. Yes, the relationship the mother had towards her daughter was a bit on the harsh side, but it's only for the good. My father raised me, so he had to play mommy and daddy. He was very conscious on what to said and what not to say. I think as a parent you have to be blunt to get your point across, it a parents responsibility to be. I like how Jamaica Kincaid delivered this short story, it sound like a parent (mother) given the child the actually tone for* direction.
002
This short story tells of a strict mother and a becoming daughter. The tone is a harsh one as the mother talks down to her daughter almost as if she expects her daughter to become nothing more than the slut her mother most likely once was or is. A mothers role in life is to raise her child in such a way that her child knows the difference between right and wrong, with love. This mother/daughter relationship is all about tough love. This mother wants her daughter to grow up too fast.
012
i agree with anonymous 416 because every girl has been through this sort of lifestyle lecture because every mother thinks its their direct right to pass down wisdom through the generation in a way to try to close up any wrong doings or bad consequences that they face doing their youth and just protecting their child from harm or embarrassment even though to us young girls coming it seem like naggin
016
this story sort of confused me the first time I read it, but after reading it a second time I realized that it was just a mother trying to teach her daughter how to be a woman and how to perform the everyday chores a woman needs when she gets married. I found the writing style and the format of the story to be very different but interesting -005
i could help but sport a grin while reading this, it reminds me much of my own upbringing. sometimes the only way to reach someone is with a little bit of tough love. it sounds as if this girl has a healthy open relationship with her mother. when reflecting back on the story i cant help but think that this is the girl reminiscing about what her mother once told her because of the way that all of these pieces of advice are strung together. Her mother gives her all sorts of advise to hep shape her into a responsible person with proper social Etiquette. these are things that most all parents try to instill in their children.
009
i found this story very interesting. It made me think of my grandmother and i, not my mother and i, like the two females in the story were to each other. The mother, my grandmother, is always telling her daughter, me, what not to do and how to do other things. She is just looking out for her daughter and trying to teach her things because she loves her and wants to make her path a little easier than hers was when she was a young woman. The mother is trying to instill something in her and maybe she might not be going about it in a kindly fashion she is doing what needs to be done and in a way that will stick in the girl's head. . . I think that this story is a sort of hopeful message that people still care enough to tell their children about life and how things are. It seems that lately many don't.
~105
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